So upon my return from Vegas, I sincerely feel that Sin City is aptly named. I was besieged by “dancer” cards of which you can have a girl, to your room, in less than 20 minutes for a nominal fee.
I don’t travel that much, and when we got out there: Caitlin and I were so tired, that we slept for 12 hours. My dad had us up at 2:30am to hit the airport by 4:00. I woke up at 3:30am (6:30am my time) and watched “Searching for Steve Ditko” which was pretty damn good. A very interesting documentary that didn’t have much of a pay-off, but I find documentaries about artists really intriguing.

When Caitlin finally (woke…awoke…)woke up, we took to the strip in Vegas. MAN! If you ever get the chance, take to the streets at 5:00am Vegas time. There was a lot of construction going on in and around the Monte Carlo, and they had these weird road dividers along the walkway that came up to your midsection in some parts, but mostly you couldn’t see through to the other side of the street. The ground is littered with call-girl cards. I haven’t seen that many nude women stare back at me, ever. It was a little disturbing. I felt bad for them, and my first thought was about the printing cost of these little pieces of filth littered all over the ground. It’s weird how your mind works, and I was more upset about the porn littering the ground.

Walking around, I definitely saw my first john and (definitely) two hookers who passed us in the narrow construction porn-littered walkway. I know this because we saw the girls leaving the hotel 20 minutes later. It’s times like this where I feel sheltered and naive!

Walking around Vegas, you really feel the heat. A lot of people say that, but I actually didn’t find it all that bad. Don’t get me wrong, it was mother-fucking HOT but I am probably 75lbs overweight and I am ALWAYS hot.

A lot of you know my wife, and she is cold in every type of weather. She likes to knit, mainly because I think she makes multiple sweaters for herself. She is cold in Pennsylvania, where it is currently 85-100 degrees depending on the week. It’s starting to cool off now. In Vegas, she turned into a ravening beast about the heat! I couldn’t believe it, no one complains about it being hot than ME! I’m a fat beast of a man! I sweat in the dead of winter without clothes on! Something about Vegas, people, made her heat-crazy. If this is what I am in store for when I finally knock her up, I don’t know if that is something I should do. DOES NOT WANT!

I really liked seeing the odd architecture in Vegas. It is clear they have a lot of money and spend it on making things look different, big and different. Who would want to make the inside of the mall look like the outside? The Miracle Mall in Vegas (well also the Venetian, but that’s not where I went first). There were a lot of interesting stores, a lot of stores with things that were way too expensive and a few cool stores I really liked (The Bettie Page store for example, had a spanking booth in the back behind a velvet rope and they had a hat store called the Hattery). The mall costumer service girls all wore the same red, white and black outfits with stockings and really short skirts. They also rode segues. They were cute.

On Sunday night, we went to see Cirque de Soleil’s LOVE because Caitlin is a giant Beatle’s fan. I have only been a recent Beatles convert, as I was way too into Led Zeppelin to appreciate the Beatles as a youth, and the subtle nuances and smooth rhythms of the Beatles just weren’t my style. I am lately really appreciating the Beatles a lot more and I definitely see their affect on many musicians and trends, but that is a blog for another time. This show blew my mind up, it was one of the most fascinating things I’ve seen in quite a while. The colors, stage design, dancing, musicianship and content was awe inspiring. Seeing it on TV doesn’t do it justice. I am really glad theater like this exists. You get worried as you get older that your old forms of entertainment become obsolete: comics are changing, television is changing and so is theatre but you get the distinct impression that good live entertainment still exists and can still engage you in a visceral level. I was dead tied, but I took a lot out of this show, both musically and visually.
There were of course, the drunk people beside me. The young-adult-typical-rich snots who were drunk and insisted on shouting at the top of their lungs “I KNOW THIS SONG. OMG!” Of course you love this song, idiot. This is the fucking Beatles. No need to sing along with it, you won’t improve on it.

I’d have to say that LOVE was the highlight of my trip, besides my sister’s wedding (of course). I have video of that somewhere, but Picasa won’t allow me to upload it. It was a very nice ceremony. I grabbed the groom’s butt during the picture to make him smile awkwardly, I am interested to see if it works. Some would have left go right away, not me. I let it linger. Now that he’s a part of the family, I wanted him to know what’s in store. Inappropriate joke making at his expense (and for my enjoyment).

Check out my pictures from the trip.

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